Skulduggery Pleasant Spoof: 'I Leave You Alone For Five Hours And'
by ValkyrieCain4Ever
Summary: Valkyrie China Tanith adventure well... you'll see. Please review!


"It's… so… HOT!" Valkyrie cried.

She, Tanith and China were lying around Skulduggery's house too hot to move.

China normally wouldn't be sitting around Skulduggery's house when she could be sitting in her nice air-conditioned apartment but right now, no one had air-conditioning or electricity; so China had thought that Skulduggery's house would be nice and cold just like Valkyrie always said it was.

It was a lie.

China was half sprawled in an arm chair while Valkyrie was spread out on the sofa. Tanith was lying face down on the rug looking like a dead star fish.

Clothes were flung everywhere and all three girls were only wearing bikinis.

"Is Tanith dead?" China asked.

Valkyrie glanced at Tanith who hadn't moved at all in the past hour.

"I don't know."

Suddenly the battery powered radio blared out a commercial that made them all freeze.

"Go to the Grand Katuba water park and-" that was all they needed to hear. All three girls sprang to their feet and crowded around the radio.

"We must go." Tanith said and all three lunged out of the room nearly flattening Skulduggery.

"What," he said getting up, "is the big hurry?"

They quickly explained what they wanted to do. Skulduggery sighed and agreed to take them.

"Yay!" the girls cheered as they trampled each other in their rush to get to the Bentley. "Just don't come looking for me when you need a ride home cause I don't want you dripping all over the seats."

Soon within the hour they were at the waterpark with their tickets and standing looking at the Avalanche, the biggest waterslide.

"I once heard of a guy who went down and all that came out was his bathing suit." Valkyrie said.

"I once heard of a guy who actually turned into water at one point." China added.

They stood in silence for a few seconds.

"I want to go down!" Tanith squealed and took off running.

Soon Tanith was going down.

"I think she just turned into water." China said.

Valkyrie nodded solemnly.

A few minutes later Tanith came back out of breath and grinning. "You guys should go on," she said excitedly. "It's fun."

"No thanks," China said, "I prefer to stay a solid." With that she walked off towards another slide.

"What was it like to turn into water?" Valkyrie asked as they followed China.

Tanith's grin widened. "Amazing."

Soon they came to a slide that was partially covered and was twisted around.

All three girls stopped and looked at it.

"Let's go on." Valkyrie said excitedly and all three girls ran toward the slide.

Halfway to the slide Tanith slipped and landed on her butt. "Owie." She moaned.

China rolled her eyes and helped her up and they continued on.

"My butt hurts," Tanith whined. And wouldn't stop.

They got to the ride and shut when the ride operator asked who was the heaviest.

Valkyrie immediately stepped aside and Tanith and China went pale then red.

As one they punched the guy and stormed over to the raft.

Not realizing that Valkyrie had already headed down they sat down a raft; China in the front and Tanith in the back and started to complain.

"I can't believe the nerve of that man!" Tanith cried indignantly. "You don't ask a woman her weight and my butt's broken!"

"Yeah!" China agreed angrily, she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted, giving herself the look of a child about to start a temper tantrum.

"Seriously! What is with people lately! Back during the War no one dared-" China was cut off by the sudden drop off as the ride started.

Tanith and China screamed and clung to each other for dear life. They snapped side to side, light flashing past and then they entered a tunnel. "AAH! DARKNESS!" Tanith screamed.

Suddenly a giant wave of water crashed into them from above and they shrieked. Finally they reached the end of the ride and emerged into the sunlight. They looked up and saw a silhouette against the sunlight.

"Grandma?" Tanith asked; "is that you?"

"No weirdo it's me."

Tanith and China blinked in the sunlight and realized that it was Valkyrie.

"We heard you screaming all the way from here."

"Oh."

"Well come on!" Valkyrie said walking off towards some other slides, "aren't you coming?"

After a hesitation Tanith and China followed. "My butt still hurts." Tanith muttered.

They played around on the rides for the next two hours; Tanith still wouldn't stop complaining about her butt.

"Hey, maybe that will get your mind off your butt." China said pointing at a giant wave pool.

"Oh! A wave pool!" Tanith squealed and took off running towards the entrance. The others followed.

They got to the entrance and were stopped by some surfer dudes.

"Tickets please." Said one with frizzy brown hair and neon green swim trunks. He had a long red board in his hand.

The girls held out their tickets and the surfer waved China and Tanith through but stopped Valkyrie.

"Ah. You are too young, sorry."

"WHAT!" Valkyrie shrieked.

"Yep, now run along."

China and Tanith stepped forward. "It's cool," Tanith said. "She's with us."

"Oh, then you can't go on either."

China, Tanith and Valkyrie all glared. "The sparrow flies South for winter." As one, the three girls punched the surfer dude and raced over and jumped into the wave pool.

The girls continued to play around in the water. At least until the Surfer dude they punched called security and they were banned from the water park.

The girls stood on the sidewalk, dripping wet.

Skulduggery stood in front of them, his arms crossed and his head slightly cocked. "I leave you alone for five hours," he said. "And you punch two waterpark employees and are banned from the water park for eternity."


End file.
